Welcome, Spiderman.

As the law and order situation in India and on the streets of its metros continued to remain a cause for concern the authorities decided its time to call upon an international superhero. So they managed to get in touch with Peter Parker who responded and Spiderman was on his way to India. He decided his first city would be Mumbai. His flight landed in Mumbai and he made for the immigration counter much impressed by by T2. At the immigration counter he handed over his passport to the officer who had a big smile on his face. "You and me brothers. You Parker, me too Parkar. Hahaha", laughed the officer. "Lame", Peter thought as he smiled back. Immigration done, he proceeded to his hotel.

The next day as Peter was taking a walk around his hotel when he heard the cry of a woman. "He's running away with my purse", she shouted. "Time for action", thought Peter. He went into an alley and changed into Spiderman costume. Running out of the alley he shot out his web to swing into action but he failed to notice the overhead cables. His swing got obstructed by the cables, he did two full 360 degrees circles around and got entangled in the cables. "Spiderman stuck in the Mumbai web", people laughed as the fire bridgade was summoned to rescue Spiderman. They had rescued several crows and pigeons, this was a first time rescuing a superhero.

Peter returned to his hotel and decided to make a note of all the things he has to be careful about when in India. Beware of overhead cables was point 1. As he was relaxing he got a distress call about some crooks who had broken into an old man's house near by. Peter rushed to the spot and ran up the flight of stairs to the 12th floor home. He rescued the old man and his belongings as well. The old man thanked him. "Always there to help, your friendly neighborhood Spiderman", replied spiderman. He ran towards the window pulled the curtains aside and jumped out of the window in typical spidey style, but bang!! He crashed into the safety grill. "Oh no son you can't do that in India, we have safety grills here", said the old man. "Thanks for letting me know", said Spiderman as he walked away from the window rubbing his head. "You can go to the terrace and swing away from there", said the old man and continued "but wait the terrace door would be locked and the keys are with the watchman and he would have gone for lunch. You better take the elevator down and walk home". Spiderman just walked out of the house and walked down. He reached his room and wrote down point 2. Windows in India have safety grills, no jumping out of windows.

The next morning Peter went out walking again alert for any signs of trouble so that Spiderman could be summoned into action. Suddenly there was a scream. "Those burglars are fleeing on the bike with my bag", shouted a man. Peter ran into an alley and changed into Spiderman. As he came out he looked at the overhead cables and said "not this time!" smiled and then avoiding the cables he swung into action. He swung using the skyscrapers as he saw the bike take a right turn. He swung right and was totally shocked by what he saw. There were no tall buildings there, only two and four storey buildings! Out of altitude and in full speed he just crashed down on the ground and took a few tumbles before hitting a building wall. Battered and bruised he returned to his room and wrote point 3. There are tall and short buildings all randomly made, beware while swinging into action. He then learnt the art of swinging low.

Another day and another crime scene and another robber fleeing on the bike. Peter, now quite aware of the ways of Mumbai, swung into action. The bike look a turn into a narrow road. Spiderman, swinging low saw this was a one way road so was safe to swing low. As he swung around the corner, bang!! There was a truck coming the wrong way. Spiderman struck the windshield of the truck and fell down. "sorry sir, thoda hi jaana tha toh ghus aaya wrong side warna ghoom ke aana padta". (Sorry sir, I had to go only a short was so entered into no-entry otherwise I would have to go all the way around), said the truck driver and went on his way. Peter reached his room and made note of point 4. Trucks and busses here come the wrong way. Beware.

It was monsoon time and rains lashed the city. The city was flooded and Peter saw many people needed help. He swung out and helped many people. Then he saw a flooded patch where some people might have needed help. He swung out and landed in the water. Alas, there was an open drain there and spidey went straight down. When and where he came out no one know but he returned to his hotel room after 2 days. For the next few days Spiderman was not seen. News reported that probably Spiderman was dead. A concerned Mary Jane called Peter. She was so glad to know he's OK and asked "Why have you been out of action?" "It's Mumbai rains darling. It's been raining continuously and clothes don't dry, after 4 days my suit is still wet. Can't go out in a wet suit", replied Peter. After the call he noted point 5. Carry extra suits to India or wear a spidey rain coat.

A couple of days passed, it had stopped raining and Peter got a call about some thefts happening at Bandra station. He reached the station and waited on the roof of the platform, obviously as Spiderman. Suddenly he heard the cries of a man. A thief stole his phone and was running down the platform. Spiderman swung down to the platform and started chasing. Unfortunately, just then Virar local pulled into the platform and spidey was swept into the train to calls of "Chalo bhai andar". The thief got away. Spiderman, now squashed and squeezed inside the compartment was in shock. "Which is the next stop?" he asked a fellow commuter. "Andheri", he replied. "OK I would like to get off the train then, which side?" he asked. To which he heard shouts from random people. "Bhai andheri utar na hai toh Andheri ya Borivali gaadi pakadna tha, ab toh nahi utar ne milega". (if you had to get off at andheri you should have taken the Andheri /Borivali local). Where he got off the train even he was not aware. He came out of the station and made point no 6, watch out for incoming trains and the crowds as well. Outside the station was a huge congregation, of people not seemingly from the city, Peter did not care much.

Anyways, he was very hungry and moved on. He saw a burger joint and decided to treat himself. He saw the menu and order a meat burger. Someone overheard him order and assumed he orderd beef. He quickly returned with a group of hooligans accusing him of wanting to eat beef and Peter was lynched. He went back to his room packed up, tore the list and went back to US promising himself never to come back!