The closet
"I'll pack up in a few minutes", I thought to myself as I continued to play my video game. Just then mom enters the room, which as always, looks like a big mess. "I want the room clear by the time I'm back", she says, "I'll be back by 4". "Sure mom", I replied and continued. How time flew I did not realise and in no time its 3.45 pm. Time is an elastic entity, it seems to fly when we are having a good time, and seems to slow down to a snail's pace when we are bored or unhappy. Anyways, I had a short time to clean up so I just opened my closet and just dumped everything in. My books, my game, my colour pens, my comics, my headphones etc. all tucked away inside. I locked the door of the closed and sat there waiting for mom with the most innocent face that I could manage to make.
That was long ago but situations hardly change, characters in life change, but we individually don't and sometimes neither do the situations. My wife was to return from her vacation and I had to arrange the room before she gets home. It's been a few days and the things are all over the room. It was still a few hours for her to come so I decided to catch the cricket match before I arrange the stuff. Same situation as childhood, time flew by and I now had to arrange the room in 10 minutes. Again the same strategy, just dump it all in the closet and lock it.
As I now sat and looked at my good looking closet and clean room, a few thoughts suddenly came to mind. Are we living our entire lives like this? I feel we are. Most of us are living like this closet, living for the external appearance, without really being bothered about what's inside. There are two ways in which we live like this, our physical 'closet' and the mental 'closet'. The physical closet means we all search for the best of clothes, the best of shoes and the best of accessories, all that make us look good on the outside but how many work to be good on the inside? Women spend hours at the parlor but have no time for the gym. Men spend hours watching a cricket match but never actually go to play. What good is it to look good on the outside only, if from inside, your body is not healthy? It's like a beautiful car with an underpowered engine, it's never going to deliver performance. If you put the engine of a Maruti in the body of a Ferrari it's never going to perform, the body of Ferrari needs the engine of Ferrari as well to deliver excellence. The Mental closet deals with our emotional well-being. We have all our emotions just locked up inside us and not letting them out. Most want to look good on the outside not really caring for what's happening inside and social media has fueled this even more, we have all seen on Facebook, couples who "can't live" without each other this month and have parted ways the next. Everything seems superficial. People want to look good and portay a happy figure when inside their minds their emotions are all messed up. Like the closet with looks neat when it's closed and locked but if it was to be opened it would reveal what a mess there is inside. "We need to live to be well arranged both inside and outside", I thought. Just then the door bell rang and my wife walked in. We had a nice time and talked a lot, almost right through the night.
The next morning it was time to leave for work. I was searching for my watch which was not to be seen. I opened my closet and just stared at it in a state of shock. "No way I'm finding anything in this mess", I thought. Just then I heard my wife's footsteps heading towards the room. I quickly shut the closet again and locked it. As I had my breakfast again I started to think, "When we are messed up inside, so many good things, good traits and talents may get lost inside never to be found. Just as a closet needs to be well arranged in order to find stuff in there, our mind also needs to be clear and clutter free to find the goodness inside. So much is being lost when the mind is muddled. We need to be true to ourselves, that's one of the best ways of keeping the mind clear. We have read about legends being absolutely clear in their mind about what they want, there's no distractions and no confusions in their heads, that's what enables to have strong focus and concentrate on their goal. Surely a clear mind is the first step to achieving anything worthwhile in life."
I left for office and had a routine day at work. As I was driving home that evening, the closet was still on my mind. I just couldn't stop thinking of how much a humble closet could teach and indeed it taught me one more thing, I thought "I closed my closet and locked it and my wife who cannot see inside, does not know what's the state of the closet inside. She looks from the outside and assumes it's all good. It's the same when we shut our emotions and feelings inside us instead of expressing it. Communication, which is the most important aspect of human relationships, breaks down. If I am sad and I lock up my sadness inside and do not express it, how are my loved ones supposed to know that I'm sad? If I love someone but never mention anything about it to them, how will they know I love? Being clear and expressing the way we feel helps build better relationships and also enables us to help each other when in need. When I express to my partner something I don't like, he/she can try to do something about it. If I don't let them know and assume they will, it's my fault for having locked up my closet. There is also a limit to how much mess a closed closet can hold, eventually it won't close at all and the huge pile of mess will be very difficult to clear. It's typically what happens when individuals in relationships have been silent for years and accumulating all the grudges inside suddenly burst out violently like a volcano. All of that can be avoided by simply speaking out and being clear with each other. We really need to be open and need to share because that's the only way to build strong bonds, friendships and relationships. So the next time you are hurt about something someone did, let them know about it. You like something about someone, go tell them, let them know about it. Just open your closet to others and let them know you, your emotions and your feelings then see what a wonderful world we will create for ourselves and for those around us".
That day I reached home and spent some good time with my wife. We had a quiet dinner and as we retired to our room I told her, "darling there's something I want to tell you. My closet may seem fine but I really want to show you what a mess it is inside so that you can help me clear it". I opened my closet and showed her. She just stood there with a smile and promised her to help me clear it. "I will now always keep my 'closet' open, well arranged and looking good both inside and outside", I said to her as I walked up to her and hugged her. She understood there's more to what I said than just the closet. "That is indeed remarkable!", she exclaimed when I explained to her all my thoughts. "I too promise to be an open closet, good both inside and outside", she said, adding, " It's time to sleep now, Good night, we have a lot of clearing up to do tomorrow". That's when I also realised, how important it is to be positive when someone opens up their 'closet' to us, we need to listen to understand not just to reply and make a conscious effort towards building better understanding. That night, we had the most peaceful sleep ever.
That was long ago but situations hardly change, characters in life change, but we individually don't and sometimes neither do the situations. My wife was to return from her vacation and I had to arrange the room before she gets home. It's been a few days and the things are all over the room. It was still a few hours for her to come so I decided to catch the cricket match before I arrange the stuff. Same situation as childhood, time flew by and I now had to arrange the room in 10 minutes. Again the same strategy, just dump it all in the closet and lock it.
As I now sat and looked at my good looking closet and clean room, a few thoughts suddenly came to mind. Are we living our entire lives like this? I feel we are. Most of us are living like this closet, living for the external appearance, without really being bothered about what's inside. There are two ways in which we live like this, our physical 'closet' and the mental 'closet'. The physical closet means we all search for the best of clothes, the best of shoes and the best of accessories, all that make us look good on the outside but how many work to be good on the inside? Women spend hours at the parlor but have no time for the gym. Men spend hours watching a cricket match but never actually go to play. What good is it to look good on the outside only, if from inside, your body is not healthy? It's like a beautiful car with an underpowered engine, it's never going to deliver performance. If you put the engine of a Maruti in the body of a Ferrari it's never going to perform, the body of Ferrari needs the engine of Ferrari as well to deliver excellence. The Mental closet deals with our emotional well-being. We have all our emotions just locked up inside us and not letting them out. Most want to look good on the outside not really caring for what's happening inside and social media has fueled this even more, we have all seen on Facebook, couples who "can't live" without each other this month and have parted ways the next. Everything seems superficial. People want to look good and portay a happy figure when inside their minds their emotions are all messed up. Like the closet with looks neat when it's closed and locked but if it was to be opened it would reveal what a mess there is inside. "We need to live to be well arranged both inside and outside", I thought. Just then the door bell rang and my wife walked in. We had a nice time and talked a lot, almost right through the night.
The next morning it was time to leave for work. I was searching for my watch which was not to be seen. I opened my closet and just stared at it in a state of shock. "No way I'm finding anything in this mess", I thought. Just then I heard my wife's footsteps heading towards the room. I quickly shut the closet again and locked it. As I had my breakfast again I started to think, "When we are messed up inside, so many good things, good traits and talents may get lost inside never to be found. Just as a closet needs to be well arranged in order to find stuff in there, our mind also needs to be clear and clutter free to find the goodness inside. So much is being lost when the mind is muddled. We need to be true to ourselves, that's one of the best ways of keeping the mind clear. We have read about legends being absolutely clear in their mind about what they want, there's no distractions and no confusions in their heads, that's what enables to have strong focus and concentrate on their goal. Surely a clear mind is the first step to achieving anything worthwhile in life."
I left for office and had a routine day at work. As I was driving home that evening, the closet was still on my mind. I just couldn't stop thinking of how much a humble closet could teach and indeed it taught me one more thing, I thought "I closed my closet and locked it and my wife who cannot see inside, does not know what's the state of the closet inside. She looks from the outside and assumes it's all good. It's the same when we shut our emotions and feelings inside us instead of expressing it. Communication, which is the most important aspect of human relationships, breaks down. If I am sad and I lock up my sadness inside and do not express it, how are my loved ones supposed to know that I'm sad? If I love someone but never mention anything about it to them, how will they know I love? Being clear and expressing the way we feel helps build better relationships and also enables us to help each other when in need. When I express to my partner something I don't like, he/she can try to do something about it. If I don't let them know and assume they will, it's my fault for having locked up my closet. There is also a limit to how much mess a closed closet can hold, eventually it won't close at all and the huge pile of mess will be very difficult to clear. It's typically what happens when individuals in relationships have been silent for years and accumulating all the grudges inside suddenly burst out violently like a volcano. All of that can be avoided by simply speaking out and being clear with each other. We really need to be open and need to share because that's the only way to build strong bonds, friendships and relationships. So the next time you are hurt about something someone did, let them know about it. You like something about someone, go tell them, let them know about it. Just open your closet to others and let them know you, your emotions and your feelings then see what a wonderful world we will create for ourselves and for those around us".
That day I reached home and spent some good time with my wife. We had a quiet dinner and as we retired to our room I told her, "darling there's something I want to tell you. My closet may seem fine but I really want to show you what a mess it is inside so that you can help me clear it". I opened my closet and showed her. She just stood there with a smile and promised her to help me clear it. "I will now always keep my 'closet' open, well arranged and looking good both inside and outside", I said to her as I walked up to her and hugged her. She understood there's more to what I said than just the closet. "That is indeed remarkable!", she exclaimed when I explained to her all my thoughts. "I too promise to be an open closet, good both inside and outside", she said, adding, " It's time to sleep now, Good night, we have a lot of clearing up to do tomorrow". That's when I also realised, how important it is to be positive when someone opens up their 'closet' to us, we need to listen to understand not just to reply and make a conscious effort towards building better understanding. That night, we had the most peaceful sleep ever.
Comments
Post a Comment